Tuesday, January 08, 2008

What is appropriate? What do YOU do?

There's been a lot of discussions on various forums around just exactly what's it's ok for a coach to do. So rather than jump on a high horse (since I've marked a few boxes myself), I thought it would be really really interesting, to take an anonymous survey. I hope you spread the word - and be honest!

The questions below all apply to "player(s) I coach(ed)". Even if you've only done it once - that counts. Mark every single thing that applies. Please don't vote on what you THINK the role of the coach is.... I want to know what people are actually DOING. Just like Kinsey.

Which of the following have you, as a coach, done with players you coach?

Had a couple of drinks with club players
Gotten drunk with club players
Had a couple of drinks with college players
Gotten drunk with college players
Dated/hooked up with a club player
Dated/hooked up with a college player
Shared a hotel room with college players
Shared a hotel room with club players
Spent time at a club players house or had players at my house for purely social reasons
Spent time at a collegiate players house or had players at my house for purely social reasons
Smoked marijuana with a player (club or college)
Borrowed money from a player
Showed up unannounced at a players house
Attended the social (college)
Attended the social (club)
I manage the team's checking account
I do selections exclusively
I physically participate in practice sessions
I am responsible for the teams recruiting efforts
I determine the goals and direction of the team
I am responsible for getting the team sponsers
I am responsible for the match schedule
Most of my friends are on the team I coach
Some of my friends are on the team I coach
Just a couple of my friends are on the team I coach
I am not friends with any of the players I coach
None of the above apply to me. I am a frigging saint.


Kevin BMK Sullivan said...

Great survey. I was wondering if you'd add the type of coach. IE: Man who coaches women's college, or women's club. Those answers should be broken out.

Anonymous said...

Not to stand a soap box, but I think that the longer a coach stays with a team, the more that as a coach, you begin to cross more of those boundaries. When dealing with college players, it becomes easier to take on more responsibility in the name of "consistency and fluidity" but its not always in the best interest of the team. And then you cross into some of the issues of personal relationships with players, whether intimate or not-- they happen. Before I throw stones, I can say that my wife was one of my players, and out of my bridesmaids, 3 out of 6 were players of mine over 6 year period.